FAQs

Parent Coaching focuses on proactive solutions and skill-building, while therapy often looks at past experiences and maladaptive patterns. I work with you to articulate an inspiring vision of the future, then co-create actionable strategies that move you towards the heart of that vision and provide palpable results in the here and now.
Another important difference is that therapy is often a long term, ongoing process. The Parent Coaching Institute ® approach is a multi-session trajectory designed to support parents in ongoing transformation on their own. This short, generative framework can often lead to deeper commitment for each session, and nurtures healthy habits that can maintain themselves after the initial Parent Coaching arc has come to fruition.
The coaching process is action oriented and tends to lead to noticeable shifts in confidence and strategy after 2-3 sessions. Though results vary depending on each family, the more committed and curious parents are, the more transformative the process. I find working with parents for 8-12 one hour weekly sessions to be an ideal length, long enough to get clear on how to put parenting values into action, and short enough so that parents don’t come to rely on my coaching insight and encouragement to maintain the work. That said, follow up sessions are often very useful and I am always available to support clients with new or ongoing challenges.
Appreciative Inquiry is an organizational change system using skillful questioning to unlock potential for positive change. Gloria DeGaetano, the founder of the Parent Coaching Institute, modified Appreciative Inquiry to create a structure for transformative parent coaching. The process comprises 4 D’s (Discovery, Dream, Design, Destiny), which progress from one to the next, and also spiral back into each other, deepening as the process continues.
Discovery: What are the strengths and challenges of my family right now?
Dream: What do I want my family to look and feel like in the future?
Design: What actionable steps can I take right now to move towards my dream? What do I notice as I make these changes, how can they be built on or modified?
Destiny: As I reflect on the changes this work has brought about, what is worth celebrating? What am I called to do next to build on this good work?
A Living Systems Approach looks at a family as a living, self-organizing system. Rather than breaking behavior down into its components, which often leads to judging behavior good or bad, a Living Systems lens considers a diversity of causes, effects and interactions. Some advantages I’ve found in a Living Systems Approach are an increase in curiosity , a consideration of where the energy in the system lives, an attention to feedback loops and how to harness their power, and a widened perspective that allows the stories we tell about our family to become richer and broader.

TIPS

Why is self-care so important for parents?

Unfortunately, our modern society has a message that parents, especially moms, show their love by how much they sacrifice for their kids. Sacrifice is one part of being a parent, but taking care of ourselves, and doing things that give us nourishment and pleasure as we are doing them, helps us to be better role models. It also builds our capacity to stay curious about our kids and ourselves throughout the challenges of modern parenting. Good self-care practices allow us to be generous and present with those we love.

When life is overwhelming, focus on repair.

Often parents are hard on themselves and want to do better in the heat of the moment. Navigating high conflict moments skillfully is an advanced practice, not a strategic first goal. Often, when we are calmer and able to reflect on what went wrong (and right) we can reconnect with our kids, apologize for what we wish we had done differently, and lay out a vision for how the next problem might be handled differently. This has many benefits, including building a sense of safety for our kids. As the practice becomes established and repair becomes the norm rather than the exception, you may find yourself interrupting the pattern as it happens and navigating conflict with clarity and an open heart. When we think about change we often want to tackle the biggest challenge head-on, what if we focus on a smaller change that is more likely to be successful?

Transitions deserve curiosity.

Transitions are frequently an area where many families struggle and get embroiled in power struggles. We often have different capacities for how quickly we can extract ourselves from one activity, and begin to plan and prepare for the next. This can be developmental or neurological. Getting curious about what helps you to transition well, as well as what does and does not work for others in your family can lead to a sense of compassion and skillfulness when navigating the reality that we all transition differently.